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Friday, December 30, 2011

ReSOLUTION Time. Choose Yours.

For every problem that caused you melee, there is a resolution to be taken. The cumulative exercise of taking resolutions at the eve of a New Year sees a pragmatic height as the transition from dusk to dawn happens this beautiful day. 2011 is a passé. It won’t come back ever, unless of course we happen to experience an odyssey in a space machine. I am sure our resolutions don’t come in packaging; they can range from being simple to being rodomontade personified. I am listing some of the most common resolutions that I have mentioned just out of my experience while interacting with a lot of people last fortnight.


  • I will make my facebook friends’ list swell to the maximum capacity of 5000. (and that must include all the beautiful girls in the town / handsome hunks in the town)
  • I will add to my already existing guinea-pig charm. (and I will add husk to my olive-oil coated voice)
  • I will learn to play guitar. (for the more hilly-billy sorta, replace guitar with drums)
  • I will participate in that reality show. (I have pacified Mom for that and Papa is not a problem till the time Mom understands my emotions)
  • I will join the gym and sculpt my exterior appearance. (You are either born with a bunch of packs or you develop them; sadly there is no other way for boys. For girls, toning is important. Peer pressure, you know)
  • I will loose weight / I will gain weight. (My physical appearance is the biggest hurdle in me not getting the desired attention of opposite sex)
  • I will quit smoking. (before the world knows that I, actually, smoke)
  • I will get a new GF / BF. (All those pick-up lines that I memorized can’t go in vain)

Young Males / Females:

  • I will get the cupid pay some attention to me. (I just need a little bit of grooming, that polished accent and a fatter wallet)
  • I will visit the exotic islands of Lakshdeep.
  • I will send my video-recorded performance to the e-auditions of that newly formed production house. (I have the talent, and you don’t preach me anything else)
  • I will change this job. It sucks. (I am not a robot to continue working when all my crushes have either left or are planning to leave the place)
  • I will quit smoking. (I really don’t want to, but they say it can cause me cancer)
  • I will loose weight / I will gain weight. (The neighborhood health club has offered some irresistible discount offers)
  • I will start my own business. (Where will the money come from?)
  • I will go on a road trip to Laddakh with my bunch of pals. (Being a rubbernecker evokes me)

Middle aged Males / Females:

  • I will reduce my time in front of idiot-box. (enough of mumbo-jumbo. And it is not so cool to announce that you actually are a TV buff)
  • I will resist eating sweets, deep fried stuff and reduce on my junk diet. (my doctors, I fear, would refuse seeing me if I continue to wolf down like a pig)
  • I will devote time to my leisure pursuit e.g. Photography, Clay modeling, Writing, Learning to cook Italian etc. (Life is meant for what else than to hone what your soul cherishes)
  • I will pay a visit to my parents every 3 months. (I love my parents)
  • I will quit smoking. I will limit my alcohol intake. (Do you know the effective ways of achieving abstinence; I have tried a lot of times, unsuccessfully)
  • I will be nice to my kids, and to my spouse too. (I am their world. I must protect them and provide them the unending love. I just wish my spouse was little more understanding)
  • I will plan for my post-retirement life. (My back hurts when I sit for more than 1 hour at stretch; I, possibly, can’t work for more than 5-10 years)
  • I will learn Power Yoga. (What is the meaning of all the money if I don’t have mental solace?)


  • I will know myself. (What is the purpose of my birth?)
  • I will keep the fabrics of the family tied together. (They look like a bunch of morons sometimes, constantly bad-mouthing about each other. I never thought they will turn like this.)
  • I will take my medicines on time. (Now do I have another choice?)
  • I will learn to chat on skype / send e mail / operate a facebook account. My grandkids have been pressing for the same. (I love my little brats. They are a hundred times better than their Dads / Moms)
  • I will go in the neighborhood park daily for that morning and evening walk. (No one bothers to company me at home.)
  • I will know the methods to attain celibate state. (I don’t want to die. I don’t want to take rebirth if I die. I want to experience the bliss of soul. Is it possible to get away from all the pains, all the expectations, all the worries?)
  • I will visit my village every year to have a laid-back vacation. (I should not have neglected the place where I got my roots. It’s most peaceful out there only)

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